Good night! Remember that your bed is actually a time machine to tomorrow.
Sleep tight! May your dreams be better than your Instagram feed.
Good night! Sleep is my favorite hobby, and I’m about to go practice.
Sleep well! May your dreams be as sweet as the dessert you shouldn’t have eaten before bed.
Good night! May your dreams be free of work meetings and full of winning lottery tickets.
Sleep is the cousin of death, but with better bedding. Good night!
Good night! May your sleep be deeper than your life problems.
Night night! May you sleep so well that you actually feel rested in the morning, unlike every other day.
Good night! Because staying awake and dealing with reality isn’t doing me any favors.
Sweet dreams! May you never hit snooze more than seven times tomorrow.
Good night! I’m not going to sleep, I’m just testing my eyelids for leaks.
Sleep tight! I hope your dreams are as nice as the lies you told yourself today about being productive tomorrow.
Good night! Here’s to hoping the calories you consumed today were just a dream.
Sweet dreams! May your awkward moments not replay in your head tonight.
Good night! A day without sleep makes one weak. See what I did there? No? Too tired? Go to sleep.
Sleep tight! May the monsters under your bed have insomnia.
Good night! I hope your dreams are better than your day, because that’s a pretty low bar.
Night night! Going to sleep—temporary death with the bonus of dreams!
Good night! My bed is sending me romantic texts again.
Sweet dreams! May your sleep be as peaceful as pretending to be asleep when someone asks you to do something.
Good night! May your dreams be sweeter than the revenge you’re planning.
Sleep well! Sorry for all the things I said when I was hungry. Good night!
Good night! I hope your dreams are like my bank account—rich!
Night night! Dream big and wake up bigger… except for your waistline.
Good night! May you fall asleep faster than your phone battery.
Sleep tight! I hope your bed bugs are too tired to bite tonight.
Good night! Get some sleep—you’ll need the energy to ignore people tomorrow.
Sweet dreams! May you sleep like it’s a Monday morning and your alarm is broken.
Good night! May your pillow be cold on both sides.
Sleep well! May your body actually move when your alarm goes off tomorrow.
Good night! Remember, if you can’t sleep, it’s because someone is thinking about you… or you had too much coffee.
Night night! May your dreams be weirder than your social media feed.
Good night! I hope you sleep so well you forget what day of the week it is.
Sleep tight! May your nightmares be limited to running late with no pants.
Good night! May your sleep be as peaceful as ignoring people in real life.
Sweet dreams! May you dream of chocolate without the calories.
Good night! May your sleep counter the effects of everything you ate after 9 PM.
Sleep well! Tonight’s forecast: 100% chance of drooling.
Good night! May you never wake up wondering why your phone is in the refrigerator.
Night night! I hope your dreams are as wonderful as the lies I tell myself about going to the gym tomorrow.
Good night! May your sheep be too tired to be counted.
Sleep tight! Here’s to hoping you wake up on the right side of the bed, not on the floor.
Good night! May your alarm clock die peacefully in its sleep tonight.
Sweet dreams! May you achieve in your sleep what you couldn’t achieve while awake.
Good night! I hope you sleep so well that you wake up a decent human being.
Sleep well! May you wake up looking better than you did when you went to bed.
Good night! May your sleep be longer than your to-do list.
Night night! May your dreams be as amazing as you pretend your life is on social media.
Good night! May you sleep faster than your phone downloads updates.
Sweet dreams! Remember, sleep is just death being shy, so enjoy the preview!
